The day has just started anew for a new page of Life to be written down by the expressive or appreciative Survivors of today... And I am one of them, thank you, God...
I have developed a new habit now with my blog page - it has become the very first page that I would open everytime I get onto the Net regardless whether I would be abdicating another meaningful memory or not, for it is the presence of my Juke Box in my blog that I have always finding soothing to my Heart, Mind and Soul as I let myself trod and drift into the path of my meaningful past, into a peaceful world of endless thinking and reflection. Most of the time you would catch me sitting down on my own gazing into the world outside - my physique very much visible and anchored in this World of Reality but my Mind, my Heart & my Soul... There would not be much of them within my Body - most of the time almost completely detached from the World, to a place in Time either the Future or the Past, so far away that may only be recognizable by either the dreamy smile upon my lips or the gaze of sadness in my eyes. Only a chosen few has managed to become the Learned Ones when it comes to reading my real face through these masquerading masks of smile and happiness that I always wear on the outside... *warm smile*... Kudos to those few of you who are able to read me through - you have caught me unaware and off-guard when you came to me confessing of what have you seen or learnt about me To these amazingly sensitive and perceptive "friends" of mine, you are the truest friends that one can ever have - I am thinking of you right now... And in my fragile Heart you will always belong. Help me keep the bolts tightened, help me keep my Heart intact in one piece amidst its shattered pieces, help me ease the pain up whenever I need to let it all out onto another realible and trustworthy Soul. The Weak me, I am never ashamed to reveal to you.
I have always found myself frozen, stoned and stunned when these gifted "personality readers" came up to me, telling me that when they see me smile, they see my pain... When they gaze deep into my eyes (no matter how much I disallow them into locking their gaze for long into me), they see my sadness... When they listen to the way I speak, they way I express out what I want to say, the way how the unique words that come out of my lips as I speak, the way of how much weight I would put onto each forming words and the way of how the tune of my voice flows naturally, they sense the sorrow in me. Soft-spoken, polite, cultured and so full of respect and humbleness but within the depths lie the deep emotions, sensitivity and... apathy, that they would still be able to feel the pain inside of me through my words, my voice, my expression. Perhaps I have too much apathy in me to be able to feel one's pain and absorb it into my own Heart. Perhaps that is what I am - pain or sorrow absorber, for I have always found joy and happiness seeing the others happy and at ease. No, I can never be just your
"Shoulder to Cry On" for I will cry with you...
time... Is definitely a precious element when it comes to Life - standing next to the air that we constantly need for breathing and the presence of our pulse or heart beats. It is quite ironic when one would get to say that s/he has not enough time to do something simple or meaningful... When each and every one of us humans are fairly given the same amount of time as we walk around alive each day - 24 hours, no more no less, borrowed by God (unless your "expiry date" has come, you are excused). The simplest thing that would make an easy question for an easy answer is... How come the pious others are always able to spare their busy time to confront God? All the more ironic would be the amount of time that would take such a confrontation process to be carried out... 5 minutes maximum, I would say for any 4 raka'at prayers. My Life may get to be as busy as these pious Souls but why is it that I am not able to do what they are able to do for this one simple thing when God calls onto us? I say it is a simple thing for God does not ask us to do much but just come to Him for cleansing up for the day. Simple, yea? But this simple obligation is one that has always been done with the utmost difficulty. Notice where I lay at fault here? Yes, I have been "washed" off this habit and "awakened" to this acknowledgement on Time and this simple obligation towards God, the fault that lies right there in my previous line is the word "But...". Yep, excuses, excuses and more excuses... that builds up the habit of Procrastination - when the job can be easily done right away, right now.....no more i can say...
to be continue.....
I have developed a new habit now with my blog page - it has become the very first page that I would open everytime I get onto the Net regardless whether I would be abdicating another meaningful memory or not, for it is the presence of my Juke Box in my blog that I have always finding soothing to my Heart, Mind and Soul as I let myself trod and drift into the path of my meaningful past, into a peaceful world of endless thinking and reflection. Most of the time you would catch me sitting down on my own gazing into the world outside - my physique very much visible and anchored in this World of Reality but my Mind, my Heart & my Soul... There would not be much of them within my Body - most of the time almost completely detached from the World, to a place in Time either the Future or the Past, so far away that may only be recognizable by either the dreamy smile upon my lips or the gaze of sadness in my eyes. Only a chosen few has managed to become the Learned Ones when it comes to reading my real face through these masquerading masks of smile and happiness that I always wear on the outside... *warm smile*... Kudos to those few of you who are able to read me through - you have caught me unaware and off-guard when you came to me confessing of what have you seen or learnt about me To these amazingly sensitive and perceptive "friends" of mine, you are the truest friends that one can ever have - I am thinking of you right now... And in my fragile Heart you will always belong. Help me keep the bolts tightened, help me keep my Heart intact in one piece amidst its shattered pieces, help me ease the pain up whenever I need to let it all out onto another realible and trustworthy Soul. The Weak me, I am never ashamed to reveal to you.
I have always found myself frozen, stoned and stunned when these gifted "personality readers" came up to me, telling me that when they see me smile, they see my pain... When they gaze deep into my eyes (no matter how much I disallow them into locking their gaze for long into me), they see my sadness... When they listen to the way I speak, they way I express out what I want to say, the way how the unique words that come out of my lips as I speak, the way of how much weight I would put onto each forming words and the way of how the tune of my voice flows naturally, they sense the sorrow in me. Soft-spoken, polite, cultured and so full of respect and humbleness but within the depths lie the deep emotions, sensitivity and... apathy, that they would still be able to feel the pain inside of me through my words, my voice, my expression. Perhaps I have too much apathy in me to be able to feel one's pain and absorb it into my own Heart. Perhaps that is what I am - pain or sorrow absorber, for I have always found joy and happiness seeing the others happy and at ease. No, I can never be just your
"Shoulder to Cry On" for I will cry with you...
time... Is definitely a precious element when it comes to Life - standing next to the air that we constantly need for breathing and the presence of our pulse or heart beats. It is quite ironic when one would get to say that s/he has not enough time to do something simple or meaningful... When each and every one of us humans are fairly given the same amount of time as we walk around alive each day - 24 hours, no more no less, borrowed by God (unless your "expiry date" has come, you are excused). The simplest thing that would make an easy question for an easy answer is... How come the pious others are always able to spare their busy time to confront God? All the more ironic would be the amount of time that would take such a confrontation process to be carried out... 5 minutes maximum, I would say for any 4 raka'at prayers. My Life may get to be as busy as these pious Souls but why is it that I am not able to do what they are able to do for this one simple thing when God calls onto us? I say it is a simple thing for God does not ask us to do much but just come to Him for cleansing up for the day. Simple, yea? But this simple obligation is one that has always been done with the utmost difficulty. Notice where I lay at fault here? Yes, I have been "washed" off this habit and "awakened" to this acknowledgement on Time and this simple obligation towards God, the fault that lies right there in my previous line is the word "But...". Yep, excuses, excuses and more excuses... that builds up the habit of Procrastination - when the job can be easily done right away, right now.....no more i can say...
to be continue.....
